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Old 03-11-09, 07:08 PM   #41
Evan Young
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Sometimes you have to act a little crazy and violent to have credibility and keep people from walking all over you. Most of the time the best trick is to stay calm and let everyone else act like assholes until they say or do something they really regret.
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Old 03-13-09, 01:13 AM   #42
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Dan taught me 5+ years ago in the Miami airport to not drop my boarding pass! I'm still flying every week and have never dropped one since. Most embarrasing to meet someone I have admired for so long and to have done something so silly in front of him upon our first and last meeting. It was great meeting you Dan.

One of my travel tips is to carry ear plugs. They make the anouncements much more bearable and sleeping on the plane easier.

I also reccomend cargo pants and cargo shorts for carrying your passport, wallet, handkercheif, etc.

Loafers are a must thanks to TSA security theater. Damn that shoe bomber.

I used to blame myself if the show didn't go well. Now i know if it worked great last week and didn't this week the audience has some fault in it.

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Old 03-13-09, 01:30 PM   #43
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my volunteers usually make the biggest drops.

when working in italy make it clear to the festival you want to be paid in cash the night of the show. very clear. especially if you do the festival in pescara. actually in pescara ask for the money before you do anything.

experimenting with new bits and the arrangement of your show, working at unusual times, changing things may make you less money at the time but in the long run will make your show stronger and you'll be more flexible as a performer.
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Old 03-14-09, 10:15 PM   #44
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When you're on a cruise ship, do not, for any reason, do a striptease down to a sports bra.
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Old 03-15-09, 03:15 AM   #45
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Hell, I once walked across stage naked on a cruise ship. Read all about it.


Nude Cruise
Category: Travel and Places
I posted this years ago but have came back in to make some
modifications to the story. I'm adding things not deleting. And on a side note, my
lunch date ended up being my wife. When I wrote this originally
I didn't know that would happen, but I should have.

Idiot Log February 2005

An organization called "Bare Necessities" chartered our ship last
week. They are a group of people that believe clothes are optional.
That's right friends, they are a nudist group.

When I first got on the ship everything seemed normal. I met up
with a friend in the crew area. We decided to go upstairs and eat
lunch on lido. At first we had the elevator all to ourselves until the
doors opened on deck three and a naked couple walked on. I
couldn't help but grin. Not laughing at them mind you just the fact
that they were naked and there I was fully clothed. Never have I felt
so over dressed. We went all the way up to deck nine.

Once we made it to lido we went to the buffet line to choose our
lunch. Right there in line, naked people. Everywhere you could see,
naked people! I started feeling the nervous giggles coming on. I
express again I was not laughing at them just the situation. I have
also been known to get the nervous giggles at funerals and
weddings.

My lunch date and I found a nice table outside at the rear of the ship
under an awning. Out in the open air the deck was covered with sun
chairs and you guessed it, naked people. My date started giggling.
We contemplated if we were mature enough for this. Just at that
moment it began to rain and all the naked people jumped up and
started running for cover under the awning where we were sitting.
Right then and there a huge parade of naked people passed by us
and hurdled around ass. Asses and elbows in my face. It really
was all types of people. I tried to show immense interest in my
plate but we were going to get the giggles, they were unstoppable
at this point. So I blurt out to my date, "I love that joke he tales,"
and we burst into laughter.

After finishing lunch (well I lost my appetite from the tension) we
headed back to the crew area. Once we where alone in the elevator
we both burst into giggles again. For my first nudist experience I was
really thrust into it. Pardon the pun it wasn't intended.

Now it's Show time!

We were given the option of performing with or with out
clothes. We of course chose with. Well, Wally wouldn't do
it and I wasn't that keen on talking him into it. Then I had the
misfortune of thinking of a funny gag. Now, if you know me, if
I think of a funny gag I must do it. I just have to. Otherwise I
might regret it later when I'm 80 sitting in a rocking chair. Plus my girl
friend said it was so funny I had to.
So here is what happened.....

Wally was down stage (close to the audience) and the traveler curtain
was behind him and open about 15 feet. He was performing his
cigar box routine, which the finale is him throwing one box in the air
and spinning around, then catching it. Then he throws two boxes
up, spins and catches it. Finally he throws all three of them, spins
and catches.

Well as he threw the two up and spun around a little red remote
control sports car pulled out on stage behind him, stopping center.

Upon Wally throwing all three of them and spinning I walked onstage
following the R/C car from one side of stage to the other in my birthday suit.
I was only onstage for a matter of seconds. Maybe 5. The crowd
went wild and Wally thought the unusual amount of applause was for
him. Even saying "What! I've never had this kind of a reaction!"

I was being modest but in all honesty I received a standing
ovation the second show. I was walking with a little more bounce in
my step. Nough said.

I calculate almost 2000 people saw me nude that night. And yes, as
long as I had another funny gag, I would do it again.

At that point I was the only entertainer to appear naked on stage.
The next night the Cruise Director did it. I swear nudity is
contagious. I don't know how many times I took my clothes off
while at the same time someone else did.
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Old 03-19-09, 10:02 PM   #46
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Great tips - thanks. Let me think of a few.

dave
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Old 03-22-09, 02:36 PM   #47
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We have cruse ships in Key West all the time but the best one of them all was the nude cruse, hookers and porn stars. These people where a fun bunch and tipped really well. I wish they'd come back.
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Old 03-23-09, 10:28 AM   #48
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While sharing a pitch with Bike Boy last summer, I picked a kid as my volunteer that was standing with his obviously Middle Eastern family and seemed to be enjoying himself while watching the show.
As soon as I got him in the circle he just froze and really killed the energy; and from there on out the show tanked.
When I finished and walked over to sit down with Bike Boy he looked at me like I was an idiot and in such a way that he made me feel that I had broken the highest most holy law of busking said:
“Never choose the Lebanese kid!”
I must have missed that day at school.

Also when you first meet buskers from somewhere else in the world you will be judged on your Bike Boy impression, so be ready.
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Old 03-23-09, 10:31 AM   #49
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And that little kid who has seen your show 100 times does not make a good volonteer.
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Old 03-23-09, 11:24 AM   #50
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Dealing with passing teen males in groups of three or more it is always the lowest in status who will heckle usually the smallest. If no-one engages you leave them be but if they do be merciless on number three. It breaks up their dynamic but strengthens all above the omega.
In rare cases it's going to be the alpha full of himself, that's harder because your counter ridicule threatens the whole group.
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Old 03-23-09, 11:53 AM   #51
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Here's a good tip I have learned. When working Death Row and the inmates out number the guards 4 to 1, be sure to make fun with the prisoners not at them. That way you will be the only one not dying to get out of there.
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Old 03-23-09, 02:40 PM   #52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee Nelson View Post
And that little kid who has seen your show 100 times does not make a good volonteer.
And, avoid the ones with horns.
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Old 03-23-09, 02:55 PM   #53
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When you ask for volunteers, never pick the kid who holds their hand the highest.

I kinda snapped once with a "repeat show" kid. I duct taped him to a pole that supported the outdoor stage roof. I place all my props within his grasp or on his person; since he knew my show, he handed me my props as I needed them. He was in my control and got to be a part of my show for 20 minutes or so. I let him squirm a bit after the show was over as I packed my props away. He did not come to any more shows.
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Old 03-23-09, 09:46 PM   #54
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Never post a video on p-net for critique.

I'm kidding (sort of)
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Old 03-23-09, 10:30 PM   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Taxi Trix View Post
And, avoid the ones with horns.
Anti-semite.
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Old 03-24-09, 03:25 AM   #56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jesus View Post
Also when you first meet buskers from somewhere else in the world you will be judged on your Bike Boy impression, so be ready.
I....have....a....dream.....

No, wait, I can go slower and more dour. Hang on, let me try again!
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Old 03-24-09, 05:35 AM   #57
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Wa-hahahhaha
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Old 03-24-09, 05:44 AM   #58
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big show! free beer!
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Old 03-25-09, 09:25 PM   #59
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Hear this in a workshop long ago - Get wheels on your prop case - the kind that remove for flying.
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Old 03-25-09, 09:47 PM   #60
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And "heavy" is accumulative.
What doesn't seem heavy on your first day might eventually, after regular lugging, day after day, make your back spasm out and ruin your career for a year.
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